The 10 Worst Gaming Sidekicks
Intelligent, responsive, useful, charming – all of these are traits a good companion should have, especially if you’re trekking through a world fraught with peril and monstrous enemies. Unfortunately, NPCs that decide to tag along with you in games tend to possess none of the above qualities. Here’s our Top 10 Worst Sidekicks…
System: Nintendo 64
For a man that attracts some of the most sassy, intelligent women in the espionage profession, James Bond really didn’t fare too well by winning the attention of computer programmer Natalya. Broadly considered the most annoying thing about GoldenEye 007, Natalya would constantly get in the way of Bond’s well-placed shots, walk so slowly when trying to go anywhere and generally just screw up missions for the ever- patient 007. Natalya was so incessantly infuriating that it lead us here at gamesTM to create a meta-game within GoldenEye 007 – playing pass the controller to see how many times we could shoot Natalya before she died. We’re not even sorry.
9. Eileen Galvin
Game: Silent Hill 4: The Room
System: PC, PS2, Xbox
Scared out of her mind and trapped in a hellish world she doesn’t understand, Eileen has every right to behave a little strangely. But in a situation that is literally life or death, you’d assume some kind of fight-or-flight instinct would kick in, pushing you to survive for as long as you can, tapping into every resource you have inside you, as a human. But no, not for Eileen. Instead she hangs around in front of doors, blocking your escape from nightmarish creatures, walking back to seemingly examine the very things that are trying to kill her, all while moving at what can only be described as a glacial pace. The sort of survival horror we don’t condone.
8. Dominic Santiago
Game: Gears of War
System: Xbox 360
A veteran of hundreds of skirmishes with the subterranean Locust, you’d have thought Dom would be a tactical genius – clued up on the guerrilla-style tactics necessary when taking out grubs, drones, tickers or whatever other nasties the Locust hoard would throw at you. But apparently not. In the first Gears of War, Dom seems to suffer from suicidal overconfidence – throwing himself gung-ho into swarms of enemies and being taken out almost instantly. If you didn’t break cover and haul your childhood friend back to safety before he got curb- stomped, it was game over. Unfortunately, that usually meant dying in the process. Lose-lose.