9 games to inspire your inner sadist
Is there anything more enjoyable in games than being truly awful?
This all started with us reflecting on the rather twisted way we tend to treat out sims over the course of The Sims titles. Whether dropping them into pools they can’t escape from or locking them in one by one rooms with no exit, torturing your wards in this series has been more or less our number one pasttime. We need to think long and hard about what that’s all about.
Shooting Natalya In Goldeneye
Natalya is an infuriating nuisance in Rare’s game-changing shooter. She gets in the way of your rather dangerous gunfire, or finds it hilarious to stand in doorways and block you off. On the upside, she’s a true bullet sponge. How many times can you shoot her before it’s game over? For us, testing her durability became a large part of the game.
Deadpool IS ALL about chaos, and it’s the most realised when you crash the X-Men’s airship, rendering the rest of the cast unconscious. There’s an achievement for slapping Wolverine 50 times, but we must have continued for a good half hour, laughing at the nonsense Deadpool spouted on each hit. “That’s for being so ugly. That’s for being so beautiful. That’s because I felt like it.”
sIn the original Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee, we were appalled to find ourselves directing fellow Mudokons into meat grinders, into mines, or into bottomless pits. Once we ‘accidentally’ electrocuted one of the meat puppets to death, we knew we couldn’t get the good ending, so we had fun using the fools as meat shields… the usual.
Feeding Lara To The Wolves
The point of the 2013 Tomb Raider reboot, we’re sure, was for us to empathise with Lara. The intention wouldn’t have been for us to find everything that can kill Lara, just to see what it does. ‘Will I die if I leap off this cliff?’ Yes. ‘Will this suspicious trip-wire cause something to crush me?’ Yes. ‘Will this wolf tear off my face?’ Oh yes.
Sacrificing Your Spouse
The centre point of this Fable II temple is a giant device titled The Wheel Of Unholy Misfortune – a torture machine you could use to sacrifice civilians in order to curry favour with the dark lord. Kill enough people and you can collect the most powerful weapon in the game… but only if you offer up our husband or wife first.
Putting down the Survivors
Dead Rising 2 had two primary objectives – find a cure for your daughter and rescue a slew of abandoned survivors. Thing is, those survivors are whiny idiots – some don’t get on, some wander off, and they’re universally dumb. We enjoying feeding them to the zombies, using them as bait so we could get further into the city complex.
Harvesting little Girls for drugs
We never thought we’d write that headline. But thanks to Ken Levine and BioShock, here we are. We assume Levine wanted players to avoid harvesting the kids for precious Adam, but we’re pragmatists – we knew harvesting would provide us with more of the magical juice, and what’s one girl’s life when compared to, let’s say, having bees living in your arms?
Playing Turrets Off
We never thought it was possible to have an emotional attachment to a turret, but Valve humanised the automated killing machines and made them adorable. That didn’t stop us setting the things to attack each other, though, laughing at their cutesy death cries and empty threats. When we dropped one on top of another, destroying them both… that’s when we were thinking with portals.